the big surprise.

A year ago today... the day we received the biggest and best surprise of our life! I peed on a stick and got a positive pregnancy test. August 4, 2013 is the day we found out our little nugget was on his way!

I say "big surprise" loosely. My pregnancy was somewhat planned. We had not really been trying, but we also were not preventing and hadn't been for about 5 months. When it was time for my 2013 annual, we decided I would just discontinue my birth control and we would let whatever happened, happen. However, in late July I accepted a job offer with a new company so when I found out I was expecting days before starting at a brand new workplace, I was a little shocked to say the least.

I will never forget the morning I got the positive test. I was about to shower for the day, and was also a couple days late. I just knew there was no way I was pregnant, but decided to take a test just in case. I took the test and set it aside. I then went about my routine, and as I was about to step into the shower I glanced at the test and saw two pink lines clear as day! I was in shock. I screamed for Clete to come to the bathroom because we had company. {Side note: NEVER take a pregnancy test when you have company at your house. It's a horrible idea. NEVER do it!} Once he walked into the bathroom I shoved the test in his face, and immediately began sobbing. He didn't understand why I was so upset as we had decided months before that if it was God's time for us to begin our family we were completely okay with it. It just wasn't ideal to start a brand new job and be 7 weeks pregnant, but that's what I was going to do. After a few hours of being in shock, having to pretend like everything was normal until our company was gone, and then taking another test or two; I then began to get over the shock and be a little excited. I have wanted to be a mommy my whole life, and it's happened. I now look back at that morning and laugh at how I told my husband we were becoming parents. It wasn't how I had imagined I would tell him at all, but it was just how I reacted in the moment.

I sit here and look at our almost 4 month old baby boy in complete awe. Time is passing way too quickly, but life couldn't be better! I never could have imagined how our life would be today a year ago. He has changed our lives for the better, and is the biggest blessing we've ever received! This day last year we had tons of different emotions, and no idea how we'd be able to handle a baby, but fast forward to a year later and we're getting along just fine! We now couldn't imagine life without him in it. Looking back, August 4, 2013 has been one of the greatest days of our life!

Mommy Talk: things I would've liked to know.

Being a first time mom, I'm learning new things almost every day! However, there are things that I now know about pregnancy, labor, childbirth, caring for a baby, etc. that I would have really liked to have been warned about. I think some women hold back information to keep from "scaring" first time mommies, but let's be real it would've been nice to know some of these things. I mean once it's "go time" there's really no turning back.

This is my list of the most shocking and surprising things that happened to me at the end of my pregnancy, labor, post delivery, and the first few weeks at home. When I talked about these things with other mommy friends, they acted like it was completely normal. There was always a part of me that really wanted to say, well that would've been nice to know! So I'm sharing these things, and let's get to it...

A question I often asked when the end of my pregnancy was nearing, and I've been ask by other mommy to be friends is, what does a contraction feel like? The best way I know how to describe it is like severe period cramps. Let me put it this way- you'll know if it's go time! 

Another question women often ask is, will I know if my water breaks? I asked this question too. Statistics say that only like 12% of women's water actually breaks on it's own. My co-workers were scared to death my water was going to break at work, but thankfully that never happened! YES dear, you will know if your water breaks! There will not be a doubt in your mind. It's kind of like a water balloon popping. I don't know how to describe it except, weird!

The hear say about how you don't get to eat while in labor, it's true! No food or drink, not even water. The no water was the shocker for me. They only give you ice chips and popsicles. So if you can stomach it, eat on your way to the hospital because it could like a whole day before you get real food again. 

Sorry this may be a little TMI, but I would've liked to know. Post delivery, you bleed. A LOT. Yes, I knew I was going to bleed for a month or more after baby, but no one told me I would think I might be bleeding to death the first few days postpartum. I also was never warned that my first shower after giving birth would look like something from a horror movie or a murder scene. Apparently this is completely normal. My nurse told me that I should only be concerned if I saw clots bigger than the size of an egg. Excuse me? Yeah, I looked at her like she'd lost it too... once I went to the bathroom I then understood what she was talking about. The extra thick, super long, overnight protection, maxi pads (like these) will be your best friend for a few weeks. It's almost like you and your baby both have to wear a diaper. Lol. But seriously. 

It's very difficult to pee after birth. Now for those of you that are a badass and can do the whole natural labor thing, this might not be true. But for us normal people who get anesthesia, when they take the cath out it's like you're 3 years old again and you can't pee when you're told to. Yes, you drink TONS of water but it's still hard to go. You sit, run sink water, gulp down water from your big cup, sit some more, drink some more... but when you do finally go, it's just like when you're 3 and everyone celebrates. Well really just you and your nurse, because she's glad you she doesn't have to cath you again and you're glad that you bladder is functioning normal.

The things you said you would never wear, granny panties and a nightgown, will be your best friend. The ugly granny panties are the only thing your ginormous maxi pad will fit comfortably in. Some ladies rave about the mesh panties from the hospital, but I personally wasn't a fan. Everyone has their own personal preference. I also wasn't a fan of the hospital maxi pads and was glad I had packed my own. I've also heard wonderful things about the "ice pads" they give you, but since I ended up having to have a c-section I didn't need those.

You will fall in love with your husband all over again. We often hear this, and it is true. The things he will do for you after you give birth to his child are things you never imagined you'd ever need help with until you were at least 80. Like helping you get your panties on because you're so sore that you can't bend over. He will be so much more awesome than you ever imagined. And seeing him so proud with that sweet baby in his arms will melt your heart!

Unfortunately, there's no instruction book that comes with this tiny human. The hospital keeps you a night or two, and then they send you on your way. You're just supposed to know what to do. {And you will. Your motherly instincts will kick in, and you'll be a pro in no time.} You're told when it cries that it's usually time to do one of two things, a diaper change or time to eat. I learned that usually it's both. On a side note- change their diaper first, and then feed them! This way when they fall asleep with a full belly you can put them back down. 

Once you're home, and reality starts to set in there will be good days and bad days, along with good nights and rough nights. Getting down a routine takes a little bit of time, just be patient! {This was extremely difficult for me to do because I need like routine.} There will be days you go without a shower because baby will be so needy. There will also be days where all you can do is cry with baby because you have no idea what he/she wants since you've tried everything you know to do.

BE FLEXIBLE. I cannot say this enough, especially if you're a planner like myself. It's best to not stress and just go with flow. I like to say to have no plan, but I know first hand that's easier said than done. I was dead set that I was going to have a vaginal birth and breastfeed my baby boy. Well, things didn't go as planned and I didn't get to have a vaginal birth or breastfeed. He would never latch, so this mommy was an exclusive pumper, and had to supplement too. But it all worked out, and this momma has a happy, healthy, baby boy.

With that all being said, you'll more than likely do it all over again when it's time for baby #2! Some people say you'll forget about it, but I highly doubt that. Being a mommy is the very best thing you'll ever do! Your home will be filled with more love, joy, tears, laughs, and poop than you ever imagined. It's not easy, but it's totally worth it!

Meeting Mac

The day was here! The day we had been awaiting for 9 months had arrived. Thursday, April 10, 2014 is the day that our lives changed forever...

I was up and ready to go, all before Clete's alarm went off. I tried stay quiet so he could sleep since we had a big day ahead of us. After we got around, and got the car loaded we left for the hospital. We arrived at the hospital shortly after 5:00AM. They got us checked in, showed us to our room, and told me to get changed and that my nurse would be in shortly. I got in my hospital gown, crawled into the bed, and soon after my nurse arrived. There was lots of paperwork and questions, but once that was all done she started my IV to start speeding things along. Around 7:00AM my parents arrived, and there was nurse shift change. ALL of the nurses and staff were wonderful! They made me feel so comfortable, and like we had known them for years. Clete and I couldn't have been happier with the care we received. The labor nurse that checked us in told us goodbye and that she'd see us that evening. She said she hoped to meet our baby boy when she returned, but that sometimes she does come back to help deliver. My day labor nurse was just as great! She made sure I felt comfortable, had ice chips, and would bring popsicles per my request. She also told me that when I started to get uncomfortable to let her know and she'd order my anesthesia.

Shortly before 9AM my doctor came in to check my progression, and also broke my water. My doctor and nurse said things should start to move along since she had broken my water. Around 10:45AM I started having pretty hard contractions so I requested my epidural. Once the anesthesiologist was out of surgery he came in to see me. The epidural was one thing I was really nervous about, but it wasn't bad at all. Dr. Brown was quick and made it as painless as possible. Once the epidural set it, the waiting game began. Dr. Chambers {my doc} would come down every couple of hours to check me, or would call the nurses to get my progress.

At 1:00PM she came in and I was 100% effaced and dilated to a 4. She told me to just hang tight because she knew at any time I was going to progress fast. Our visitors went to lunch, and I napped while we were waiting on our little man. When Dr. Chambers came in around 5:00PM to check, I was still at a 4. She told Clete and I that we had two options... we could do a c-section or we could wait. Normally, a woman would progress at 1cm an hour and I had been stuck at a 4 for 4 hours. She said with how my pregnancy had gone, and since both me and baby's vitals were good she had no problem with waiting. I really did NOT want a c-section. It was my biggest fear going into labor. I told her that I would like to wait and see how things looked again in two hours. She had no problem with that. Clete and I discussed after she left, that if 7:00PM rolled around and nothing had changed we would take her advice on what to do. I in no way felt like she was trying to force a c-section on me, so if she felt like that was best then we'd take that route. After all, I didn't want to get into an emergency situation and them have to rush to take him c-section. 

Shortly before 7:00PM she called and had the labor nurses come check me... I was still stuck at a 4. They told me they could feel his head and they could also feel fluid building up around it. I told the nurse to ask Dr. Chambers what she would suggest we do, and that we felt confident to go with whatever she suggested. When the nurses walked out, I knew I was going to have to have a c-section. One of my biggest fears through my pregnancy was coming reality. As soon as my parents walked back into the room, I completely lost it. I was scared to death. I'd never been hospitalized before, so going under surgery was scary to me. I still get emotional thinking about it, but I looked at my mom with tears in my eyes and said, "have dad come pray with us." It was a special moment for me... Clete, my mom, my aunt, and my dad gathered around my bed and held hands as my dad led us in prayer. After that, I felt confident I was making the best decision and I felt at peace. I was disappointed I wouldn't be able to deliver naturally, but I was okay with it.

Once Dr. Chambers arrived at the hospital she came to our room and talked to us. She told me she knew this wasn't my plan, but that everything would be fine. She also then told us she had gone through 3 c-sections herself. Again, this made me feel better about it. After she left the room, they started prepping me for surgery. Dr. Brown came back in to change out my anesthesia, my nurse got everything else ready and within minutes we were off to the OR. My mom walked with Clete and I down to the double doors. It was very obvious I was nervous and scared, but Clete and Dr. Brown kept insuring me that all would be fine. They showed Clete to a small room to get changed, and they took me on to the OR.

It felt like it was 10 degrees in the OR. They moved me over to the operating table and started prepping for surgery. Dr. Brown stayed up by my head and talked to me to calm my nerves. He also insured me that he would get Clete before they started surgery. The nurses and doctor's were talking, my nurse stated my name and information, and soon after Clete came in. They gave him a chair and he sat right beside my head, holding my hand. Dr. Brown also stayed close by and talked to us telling us what was going on. Right before they pulled Mac out, Dr. Brown told Clete to stand up because he would want to see him come into the world. Clete stood up, and a moment later I heard our sweet baby boy cry for the first time. At 7:28PM our little baby boy, Mac James was born. Clete's words were, "he's beautiful just like his momma!" Dr. Chambers said my gosh he is huge and I remember thinking what does that even mean? She couldn't get over how big he was, and how she had under estimated his size. She held him up for me to see, and then the nurses took him to get him cleaned up, weighed, etc. Clete walked over and took pictures with his phone while they finished sewing me up. Once they had him weighed, measured and a diaper on, I got to hold my sweet baby boy for the first time. It was truly love at first sight. Clete snapped a picture of us with his phone and sent to my mom so everyone waiting would know Mac had arrived and that we were all doing well. 

For me, the rest of the evening was a little bit of a blur. Once they took Mac to the nursery, Clete went with him for a while. His blood sugar got low, so the nurses kept a close eye on him by checking it and made sure it was rising by giving him formula. Mac came into this world weighing in at 9 lbs 6 oz and 22 inches long. It was love at first site for us all!

April 10, 2014 was the day that our lives changed forever. For the better, of course! It's the date I earned the title of "mom" and our baby, Mac joined us in this big world. Our newest addition has turned in a brand new chapter of life. Being Mac's mommy is the best thing ever!

A special thank you to my dear friend Kylie for capturing Mac's birth day. These pictures I will cherish forever. All photo credits go to Kylligraphy Photography Lettering and Design.