Dear Mom,

First off, I want to say thank you. When I was a young girl, I never knew what kind of sacrifices you made for us girls. But now that I'm a mom myself, I know how hard this motherhood thing can be at times and I want you to know that I am beyond grateful for everything you did for me while I was young. And not only thank you for all you did through my childhood, but also for all you do now for my little family. Clete couldn't ask for a better mother in-law to love him and accept him as her own like you do. Mac couldn't have a better Queenie, who loves and adores him. You've taught him so much in life so far! He already knows to cling to Jesus and you've been a big part of teaching him that.

You are our backbone. You hold our family together, and we know that no matter what we can call Mom and she'll always be there. If she doesn't have the right the thing to say or advice to give, she has the right Bible verse(s) to send your way that are exactly what you need to read. And sometimes it's just an ear to listen but exactly what we need.

You are our prayer warrior. We feel your prayers, especially during times when we need them.

You are a friend. Now that I'm older, I'm so grateful for the close bond that we have. I know you're just a phone call and hour and half drive away if we need you. And I'm honored to call you more than my mom, but my friend.

You are a super-star grandma. I'm thankful that you play a major role in my child's life. I love watching the bond grow that Mac has with you and Dad. He loves his Queenie & Poppie, and already knows they'd do anything in the world for him.

You are loved. Although we don't tell you often enough, we love you so much and know that we would be lost without you.

On this Mother's Day, and every day, I hope that you know how much you're loved and appreciated. I pray that I can be a large chunk of the mom you are to Mac and any other children we may have one day. XOXO

In honor of Mother's Day this weekend, I wanted to write a post in honor of my mom. Now that I'm a mother myself, I know how very special this day is. I hope every mother reading this has a wonderful Mother's Day!

12 months old

Last week our sweet baby boy turned 1 year old! I'm not quite sure how this is even possible. It was just a few weeks ago I was in labor ALL DAY waiting for his arrival with family and friends by our side.

Flash forward a year (plus) later... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAC! 

Mac is walking everywhere and is in to everything! He is Mr. Independent and also very curious. He loves bath time, watching Mickey Mouse, eating blueberries, and going to see his friends at daycare. He still adores his daddy, but is pretty partial to his mama too! Mac loves to play with his trucks, train, books, and blocks. He also enjoys playing with his sister and loves when daddy chases him. Mac is now opening cabinets and pulling out anything he can, and has also recently discovered how to roll toilet paper off the roll. He is all boy! He still fights naps, but loves to rock and cuddle when he sleepy. He can say a handful of different words, and like to sing and rub his hair when he gets sleepy. Mac still loves his bottle, but also likes eating lots of different foods. He is wearing 12-18 months clothes, size 4 diapers, and size 6 shoes. He has 8 teeth, and is currently cutting number 9 which is molar number 2. Those molars are tough ones! He is a pure bundle of joy, and has the best laugh ever! Being his mama is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Mac,
Happy Birthday sweet boy! We cannot believe you're now a whole year old. This past year has flew by, and has been so much fun. You've brought us so much joy and have been the biggest blessing we've ever been given. God knew what he was doing when he placed you in our life. You are loved so much, and we pray for great things to come in your life. Although you're often ornery, we wouldn't have you any other way! You are perfectly imperfect and complete our family (for now). We love you to the moon and back times 1000, sweet boy!
XOXO,
Mama

Dear Mac,

I cannot believe that almost a whole year of your life has already gone by. It seems like only days ago we were all anxiously awaiting your arrival into the world, and now it's nearing time to celebrate you turning one. You are the light of our lives, and have brought our family so much joy. Your daddy and I never dreamed being parents would be so much fun and rewarding.

I sit here and look through old pictures of all your firsts and can't do anything but smile and cry. You are the biggest blessing to our little family and I'm so grateful God picked you for your Daddy and I. You have grown so much over the past year, and it's been pure bliss watching you change and develop your little personality. From the first time you opened your eyes, the first time you rolled over, the first time you crawled, and those first steps you took..every little thing you've done has been amazing, and made us so proud! You remind me every day that God knows best. The day we found out you would be joining our family hundreds of emotions ran through my head, but as I sit here tonight while you're sleeping in your crib, I know without a doubt that God's timing was (is) perfect.

I love the way you adore your daddy! Your face lights up when he comes into the room and I pray that you two always share the special bond you have now. You love when daddy chases you before bedtime, and squeal happy sounds when he gets you. It makes mama's heart smile watching the two of you together. I love seeing you get so excited for bath time in the evenings, and I cannot wait to see you play at the beach this summer. You're a little water baby! I love hearing you say mama, and enjoy seeing you and your furry sister play so well together. She was your mama's very first baby you know. ;)

I see characteristics of both your daddy and myself in you! Some people say you look like daddy, while others think you look like mama but we feel like you're the perfect mixture of us both. I promise that your daddy and I will always be your number one fans.You can count on us to always be there for you. We will always be together, and we promise to never involve you if we ever encounter problems between the two of us. We are a family, and we're in this together.

We will soon go from counting weeks and months, to counting years. While that makes your mama sad that a whole year has already flashed by, I know the best years are yet to come! We now cannot imagine our life without you. We love you to the moon and back times 1000, sweet boy!

XOXO,
Mama

11 months old

Mac is 11 months old today. I'm not too sure how I feel about this, but I don't really have any control over the time that passes by. I say it all the time like a broken record, but it's going by so fast. These past 11 months have been the best months of our lives, and we are grateful to God every day for blessing us with our little nugget!

This month started off a little rough for our little man. He was sick for the very first time over Valentine's weekend and it hurt this mama's heart. It was just a little cold with runny nose, fever, and a cough but it was still sad not seeing him feel good. He's all better now though, and back to his happy self again!

Mac started WALKING this month! Our baby boy is not so much a baby anymore, he is transitioning into a toddler. It's so much fun watching him grow and get his personality. He is definitely going to be all boy! He still loves bath time, and is now taking his baths in the big bathtub. He loves to splash and kick around in the water. I cannot wait to see him this summer when we go to the beach! I just know he's going to love it since he loves the water. Mac enjoys playing in his room with his toys and likes reading books. He still isn't fond of nap time, at least at home on the weekends, but he does sleep well at night. He is mr. independent, and we are discovering his temper. The boy can throw down a mean fit when something isn't going his way. He loves watching TV, and Mickey is still his favorite! He is talking all the time and can say, "no no," "dadda,"and "mama". He is wearing 12-18 month clothes, size 5 shoes, and size 4 diapers. He is taking a few bottles a day, and eating soft foods.

Mac,

It's so hard to believe that you are almost 1 year old! This year has flown by and we cannot imagine life without you. This time last year we were preparing for your arrival, and we're now planning your first birthday! You are the light of our life and have brought so much joy to us. We love you more than you'll ever know, sweet boy!

XOXO,

Mama

10 months old

In just two short months my baby will be a whole year old. How is this even possible already?! It was just a year ago this coming weekend I was having my first baby shower and getting all the finishing touches on the nursery to welcome our little nugget and now he's transitioning into a toddler. ::sniff.sniff:: Anyways...

Mac is 10 months old today! Just like I say every month, time is going by so fast!! It is so much fun watching our little nugget grow, develop, and learn new things. Mac is pulling up on anything and everything he can. He is walking around while holding on to furniture (or anything he can) and I don't foresee it being too much longer before he's doing it all on his own. He is getting braver every day, and when he falls he usually just gets right back up again! He's gotten a few bumps and boo-boos, but he usually just shakes it off after a kiss from mommy to make it better. He is mr independent, and also has a bit of an adventurous side.

Mac still adores his daddy, and enjoys bath time. He's eating table food better, but he still loves his bottles. I have a feeling that breaking him of the bottle is going to be an obstacle. He loves to play in his room, and is currently partial to his train. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is still his favorite, but he likes most cartoons on Disney. He loves going to daycare while mommy & daddy work, and he also enjoys being outside when it's pretty. He and his sister are becoming the best of friends, and Mac loves playing with her and sharing his snacks with her. He is crawling everywhere and getting into everything! Mac's newest thing is opening up dresser drawers and pulling things out. He's gotten his little fingers smashed a few times but keeps on doing it. He still has 6 teeth, but is trying to cut some more in the back. He is wearing 12-18 month clothes, size 5 shoes, and size 4 diapers. Mac is all boy!

Mac,
It's hard to believe that a whole year has almost gone by since you joined our little family. This time last year we couldn't wait to meet you, and now we cannot imagine life without you. You often keep us on our toes and can be quite ornery, but we wouldn't have you any other way. You're the light of our lives, and your daddy & I's biggest accomplishment. Even though you're quickly transitioning into a toddler, you're still our baby boy. We love you to the moon!
XOXO,
Mommy

9 months old

Mac is 9 months old today! Where has time gone? What happened to our sweet 9+lb baby? It'll be just 3 more months and he will be turning a year old. (Ahh, mommy has got to get to planning!) Time is flying by!

These past 9 months have been so much fun! It's now hard to imagine life without Mac. He is a pure bundle of joy! Mac is now crawling and getting into everything. He's very curious, and ALL BOY! He's getting quick at moving, and has started to pull up. He will try to pull up on anything he can. He still likes sitting and jumping in his bouncy, but his new favorite toy is his big truck Santa brought him. He would ride around in it for hours if we'd just continue to push him. He loves to eat, and sit in his high chair. He's eating baby food twice a day and also a little table food. The boy still loves his bottles though! He got some sippy cups in his stocking and likes drinking water from them. He also loves his puffs and yogurt melts for snacks. Mac still adores his daddy, but he also loves his mama. He loves watching Mickey Mouse, and the biggest smile comes across his face when he sees Mickey. Mac loves to laugh. His belly laughs are the best! He is talking lots and making all kinds of noises and screams, but we're still waiting on real words. He likes to play, and loves anything he can get in his mouth. Mac has recently upgraded to a big boy convertible car seat, and he loves it! He is sleeping around 11 hours at night, and still has 6 teeth but I think he's trying to cut some new ones. He is wearing size 4 diapers, and his clothes size varies between 6-12 mos and 12-18 mos right now. He's a happy boy, but can throw a mean fit when he's mad.

Mac,

It's hard to believe that you're already 9 months old. These past 9 months have been the best months of mommy and daddy's life. This past month has been very exciting since you've started to crawl. You are moving all over the place, and getting into everything. You have the best personality, and are such a happy boy! We love you more than you'll ever know, and we love watching you grow. Mommy prays for abundant blessings over your life, and for God's perfect plan. You are our bundle of joy! We love you to the moon, and are so thankful that you're our little nugget!
xoxo,
Mommy

Your Best is Good Enough.

I've only been a mother for a short almost 9 months, but I've learned a whole lot more in these 9 months that I ever thought I would. You see, I have always wanted to be a mother. I knew without a doubt growing up that I wanted babies of my own. It was no question between Clete and I that one day we would have a family. Becoming a mama is the most difficult and the best task I've ever been given. I'm perfectly satisfied with having the label, Mac's Mom. It has the perfect ring to it! ;) However, being a mama this day in age is often overwhelming. Everyone has to put in their two cents on Facebook, or voice their opinion on why they think it's better to breastfeed or use cloth diapers, etc. But let me tell you, don't compare yourself to others because your best if good enough.

There aren't too many things that make me more upset than when I hear women judging how other mothers choose to do things. If anyone should know how us mamas need encouragement and support it should be another mother. I believe we as women should lift each other up and encourage one another. A mom should be the very last person to criticize another mom for how she does things for her family. Some of us breastfeed and some of us use formula; and then there are also those of us like myself that wanted to breastfeed and even tried to but encountered problems so we chose formula because it was what seemed best for our babies. Some of us choose regular diapers, and others of us choose cloth diapers. Some of us opt for pain meds during the birth process, and others of us go all natural, but either way we're all brave. Some of us co-sleep, and others of us let the baby cry it out; some of us stay home with our babies and others of us send them to daycare while we also have a career. Some of us let our babies eat food out of a jar or pouch, and others of us make everything our baby eats. No matter how you may do things, know that your best is good enough mama.

Your best is good enough. Don't you let anyone, not one single person tell you anything different. Your best is good enough, always remember that. Whatever works for me and my family may not work you, and that's okay. My way only needs to work for me. Every baby is completely different. There are no two babies that are alike. It's all about finding whatever works for you and your little one. Your happy medium only has to work for you, no one else. So the next time your little one looks up at you with their sweet smile let it be a reminder that your best is good enough. You will always be super mom in your child eyes!

8 months old

Today our little man is 8 months old! These past 8 months have flown by, but have been the best months of our lives. Mac has brought so much joy to our life and into our home. He's taught us so much in the past 8 months, and I'm not sure what we'd be doing if we didn't have him except sleeping in past 7AM on the weekends.

Mac is still hitting all of his developmental milestones. He LOVES to bounce and jump! The boy will try to bounce on anything. He's is getting up on all fours and rocking, so we know that any day he's going to take off crawling. Mac is pulling up on things, and it won't be long before he's standing on his own. He loves to talk, but we haven't heard any real words yet. We've been working on words with him, and it won't be long either. He's a happy boy, and also getting to be very curious. He loves to touch, grab, and look. He also loves to growl, happy scream, and fake cough to get attention. He can clap his hands, and can throw a mean fit when he isn't getting what he wants. He likes to play with his toys, chew on everything, and play in his bouncy. He loves watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and just smiles when Mickey talks. Mac adores his daddy! He still loves bath time, and hates naps. Mac is becoming very curious, and once he becomes mobile he is going to be into everything! He's really liking baby food and green beans are still one of his favorites. He likes puffs, and also likes to try mommy & daddy's food when he can. He has a total of 6 teeth, 2 on bottom and 4 on top. He's a drooling machine! Mac is eating 6 oz bottles and baby food, wearing 6-12 mos clothes, and size 4 diapers. He's a wild sleeper, and can sometimes be a night owl.

A couple weeks ago we put up our Christmas decorations in the house, and he loves looking at all the bright colors, glitter, and lights. We set his bouncy in front of our tree, and he will just look and bounce. He also loves to roll over up under the stockings and grab at them. Christmas is going to be fun this year, even though his favorite things will be the boxes, paper, and sacks. Mac is our little Christmas blessing, and we wouldn't want it any other way!

Mac,

It's hard to believe that you're already 8 months old. One day when you grow up, you'll understand why mommy says time goes by way too fast. You're growing and developing every day, becoming a big boy right before our eyes. You've brought us so much joy these past 8 months, and we are so thankful God gave you to us. You're our sunshine, and we love you so much more than you know!
XOXO,
Mommy

PS: You decided to wake up at 4:30 AM today and that's why your 8 month pics are in your jammies. Mommy thinks you're about to cut another tooth because I have no other explanation for your poor sleeping lately. 

7 months old

Mac is 7 months old today! It's hard to believe time is going by so quickly. He's so much fun right now, but also very hard. He is developing quite the personality, but also wants to be mr. independent.

Mac is hitting all of his milestones right on target! He's been sitting up on his own for a while, and he's now starting to pull up. He also is getting up on all fours, so it won't be long before our baby boy is mobile! He is quite the wiggle worm, rolling all over the place and also a little jumping bean when he's standing up (with help of course). He enjoys sitting in his activity center and watching cartoons. He is eating baby food every day, and is loving all his veggies and fruits. Mac and Honey get along great and are the two best of friends! It's so sweet to watch the two of them play together. The boy loves his dog! Mac likes sitting in the floor and playing with toys. He still loves bath time, and still thinks his daddy hung the moon. He is talking lots, but no real words yet. He has two teeth on the bottom, and has two coming in on the top. He loves to bounce, and really likes when you help him stand so he can do so. He's recently started a fake cough, and it's quite humorous to watch. He has quite the personality, but also knows how to throw a mean fit. He loves his bottle, and is holding them all by himself now. Mac is in the 85th percentile for height, and the 90th percentile for weight. He wearing 6-12 mos clothes, and size 3 diapers. We recently lowered his bed, and put in his bumper pads. He loves going to Ms. Cindy's house while mommy & daddy work, and he loves his friends there too! He's eating 6 oz bottles, and is sleeping around 10-11 hours at night.

Mac,

We now cannot imagine life without our little nugget! You are the light of our of world. You bring us so much joy, and for that we are grateful! You're the biggest blessing we've ever received, and we love watching you grow. You are loved so much more than you know, and have made our lives so much better. We love you to the moon, baby boy!
XOXO
Mommy

6 months old

Today our sweet baby boy turns a 1/2 year old! I'm not sure how time if going by so quickly, but it is and it's very bittersweet for this momma.  I cannot believe it's been 6 whole months since we welcomed Mac into this world.

Mac is rolling, rolling, rolling! He loves to lay on a blanket in the floor sometimes to just kick and roll. He's now sitting up on his own like a big boy! He still loves bath time. He adores his daddy. He has really gained interest in his furry sister, and has even started to "pet" her when she's close. They are the best of friends these days! He loves to bounce! It's one of the many things that makes him have happy giggles. He loves playing in his bouncy saucer, and has started to play and interact more with the toys around it. He still loves to watch TV, just like his daddy! Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is his favorite show, but Jake and the Neverland Pirates is a close second. He also likes sitting in the floor and playing with toys. He enjoys things that make noise, and of course likes anything he can get in his mouth! Mac is holding his bottle and reaching for things. He's been eating baby food regularly for a few weeks now. He loves green beans, squash, and peaches! He likes sweet potatoes and apples okay, but is not a fan of bananas or peas. He's a messy lil' eater, and would like to be able to feed himself. He always grabs for the spoon to put it in his mouth himself. He's started to teethe this past week, and that has not been fun. His first lil' tooth is starting to come through his bottom gum! He has quite the personality, but at times will play bashful. He loves to talk and laugh! He's sleeping 10-11 hours at night, with mostly only cat naps during the day. He's wearing 6-12 mos clothes, size 3 diapers, and is taking a 6 ounce bottle.

I know I say this over and over, but time is really going by way too fast. Everyone warns of how fast it'll go by, and they're not exaggerating! It really does go by so fast. However, Mac is at such a fun age right now so the time going by is bittersweet. Each month it keeps getting better and better! It's so much fun to watch him grow, develop, and change.

Mac,
You are the little light of our world! It's hard to believe you're already a 1/2 year old. Mommy and daddy love you so much, and now couldn't imagine our life without you. We feel extremely blessed that you're ours, and we thank God for giving you to us. You are growing and changing right before our eyes, and we love watching every minute of it! We love you more than you know baby boy!
XOXO,
Mommy

Baby Must Haves

I've now been a mommy for almost 6 months. How in the world has half of a year already gone by?When people tell you it flies by, they're not kidding! It FLIES BY. It goes way too fast, but you'll never truly understand what I'm saying until you experience it yourself. One minute you're running on little to no sleep, changing diapers and feeding every 2 hours, then the next he's got his own little personality and is trying to crawl. Being a mommy has been the best gift I've ever been given! There are lots of trying times and second guessing yourself, but even when it's hard it puts any day job to shame. :)

With all that being said, there are some things I don't think we could not have survived these first 6 months without. All of these items have come in very handy for us. I'm call this my "Top 10 Baby Must Haves". These are all things that I think every new mom & dad should have in their house.

aden + anais swaddle blankets | layette gowns | nose frida | baby swing: similar | sleep 'n play footed pjs 

boppy lounger | diaper genie | aden + anais burpy bibs | boon grass counter top drying rack | bouncer: similar

1. aden + anais swaddle blankets THE BEST blankets ever! You cannot have too many of these. They're super soft, light weight, and big! We use at least one of these every day. I always have one in the diaper bag, and these are what we swaddle with every night. 
2. layette gowns These are great for those first days/weeks at home. They keep baby warm and covered, but also make it easy to change diapers because those first few weeks you change A LOT of diapers! :)
3. nose frida I know, it's gross. Let's be completely honest, it's disgusting but this thing works wonders! It's way better than any bulb you will get, even the hospital one. Just close your eyes and suck, that's what I have to do so I don't gag. 
4. baby swing This was one of the best hand me downs we were given. Yes, it's a complete eye sore for the living room but it was a lifesaver for us! Mac took naps in his swing, and at times it was the only thing that would sooth him and let mommy get things done. 
5. sleep 'n play footed pjs These are the best baby pjs! Mac still is sleeping in one of these every night. Babies sleep best when they're warm and these help keep them that way. I recommend the zip up ones because it's easier to get back in tact during those middle of the night diaper changes. It can be difficult to snap 10 buttons when you're half asleep yourself. They run great sales on these at Carter's and Target. I don't think you can have too many! Mac lived in these and gowns the first few weeks of his life. 
6. boppy lounger In my opinion, this was the BEST GIFT WE RECEIVED. Hands down. We could not have lived without this, especially that first week at home. It's different than a regular boppy. It's kind of like a newborn "chair." Mac spent A LOT of time in this. (awake and asleep) The dog loves it too, and now that Mac has outgrown it, it now belongs to her. 
7. diaper genie This thing is really magical! It traps the smell of stinky diapers, fits nicely in a corner, and isn't an sore in baby's room.
8. aden + anais burpy bibs These are my favorite burp clothes. They're super soft and absorbent. They also make into a bib for when baby gets bigger and starts eating food.
9. boon grass counter top drying rack This fits lots of bottles and doesn't take up too much counter space. It will hold breast pump parts very well too! It also catches the water in the bottom, so it prevents a wet mess. I also bought a couple of the flowers and twigs that fit in it to hang nipples and bottle tops on.
10. bouncer Mac didn't like this until he was about 6 or 7 weeks old, but then it became our best friend. We referred to it as our at home babysitter. I suggest one that vibrates and plays music. Ours does and it was very soothing for him. It was also fun to watch him grow in it because once he figured out he could kick and make it bounce, it then became a game for him. 

All of these items can be found at major baby retailers: Buy Buy Baby, Babies R Us, Target, or Walmart. If you've got something to add to this list I'd love to hear it! I am still discovering new things every day when it comes to mommy stuff. Just leave a comment below. I hope you'll share with all your mommy to-be friends! 

5 months old

Today our little nugget turns 5 month old. Umm, HOW is this possible? I mean a half of a year has almost gone by. This mommy needs time to slow down just a little bit!

This past month has been so much fun! Mac has the best personality and is such a happy boy! He is the happiest in the mornings when he wakes up {on his own}. He will lay there, talking and singing with a huge smile on his face.We had his 4 mos appointment a few weeks ago, and he is in the 75 percentile for height, and 96 percentile for weight. We've got a healthy, big boy on our hands!

Mac is hitting all his milestone marks and developments right on track! He is now responding to his name, reaching for things, holding his bottle, and rolling over all on his own! He loves to watch TV, bounce in his monkey, and he now enjoys playing in the floor with his feet. He has discovered his feet, hands, and also his boy parts. ;) He's rolling all over the place, and has become quite the wiggle worm. He's also trying to sit up on his own, and is very close. He can do it for short amounts of time now, but he's getting stronger every day. Mac thinks Daddy hung the moon, and has started to pet and touch his furry sister. He got an activity center a few weeks ago and he loves it! He bounces and is also figuring out all the fun activities he can do on it.  He's tried green beans, sweet potatoes, and bananas- so far green beans are the only thing he hasn't spit back out. We're taking the food thing slowly, getting better results each time we try. Dr. Stecklow said baby foods aren't necessary until 6 mos. so he's got some time to learn to like it. Mac still loves bath time, and continues to talk and laugh all the time. He's doing a lot of slobbering and chewing on everything! We might see teeth soon?! He's in size 3 diapers, mostly 6-9 mos clothes, and is eating 6 ounce bottles.

Mac,
I cannot believe how fast 5 months has gone by. It seems  like only days ago we were anxiously awaiting your arrival. You are so much fun, and are developing more every day! You are getting quite the personality, and I think you're going to have a little orneriness in you like your daddy!  You brighten our world every day with your smile and sweet laugh. We love you more than you know! 
XOXO,
Mommy

the balance.

When I first decided to start this little space and get back to blogging, I was nearing the end of my maternity leave. We were adjusting (and we still are) to being new parents since Mac was only a couple months old. I had a list of unknowns and questions I found myself asking about how our normal routine would be once I went back to work that I wrote about in this post. I knew at the time of writing the post that "we'd figure it out" as people told me, (ps: thanks for the tough love people) but the unknown is always a little nerve racking.

I've been back at work now for 6 weeks, and I think we're adjusting just fine. Mac is loving daycare, and mommy is enjoying being back in the office. We've found a good balance, but as with anything there's always room for improvement. We're "figuring it out" and it's working well so far! I have to take a moment to brag on my husband because I could not do it without him, and that's a fact. He's my biggest supporter and helper. He helps with our morning routine, and on most days he's the one who picks Mac up from daycare. He also helps in the evenings when it comes to bath and bedtime. Basically whatever needs to be done or where ever he's needed, he's there. He's a very hands-on daddy, and for that I am grateful. Becoming parents has made our relationship grow, and also forced us to communicate better. We've always made a good team, but parenthood has made us even better teammates!

I'm coming up on my one year work anniversary, and I couldn't be more happy with the decision I made to make a career change. Leaving a workplace I was at for 5+ years was not easy but as Pastor Craig preached one weekend last year, "sometimes it's easier to stay when it's better to go." When I was contemplating making the change and feelings of fear would come over me, I would hear that line from his message in the back of my head. Over the past year I have grown not only in my personal life, but also in my career. I've learned new things, conquered new challenges, and have done things I didn't know I was capable of doing. I've advanced far beyond what I ever imagined I'd be able to do in a year. (mind you, 12 weeks of being on maternity leave)  

source

I came to the conclusion while being on maternity leave that staying at home wasn't for me. I cherished every minute I was able to have with Mac during those 12 weeks, but I also looked forward to returning to work. After being back in the office and in the swing of things again, I still feel the same way and I will not ever allow myself to feel guilty for being a working mother. For me, having a career helps me keep life in balance. 

4 months old

It's often said that the older you get, the faster time goes by. When I was younger I never understood this statement, but now that I'm a mother myself I understand what people mean when they say this. It's true, time is passing way too quickly! Many people warned me that it would go by too fast, and I've discovered that they were not exaggerating. Today our baby boy is 4 months old! How is this possible?

Mac has developed quite the personality! He is smiling, talking, and laughing all the time. It makes our hearts so happy when he talks to us with a big smile on his face. I never knew motherhood would be this hard, but also so fun and rewarding. He is still loving his bouncer, and is also starting to like tummy time. He's getting stronger, and is starting to really hold himself up well. He loves bath time, riding in the car, and watching TV. He also loves to lay and kick. He's a morning person, and always has bright eyes and a big smile on his face when he wakes up. He loves his furry sister, and has recently started to really watch her around the house. He has started to grasp firmly, and likes holding his silkie and toys. He just recently discovered his feet, and he's been grabbing at them a lot. He loves to be propped up so he can see, and has been trying to sit up on his own. He's not quite there yet, but soon! He also very close to rolling over. He loves going to Mrs. Cindy's every day, and going to LifeKids at church. Mommy thinks he's starting to teethe because he's chewing on everything, and also has lots of slobber. He's eating 6 oz bottles, wearing size 3 diapers, and sleeping through the night! We tried cereal this past week, but he wasn't a big fan. We will try again soon!

Mac,
We can't believe it's already been 4 whole months since you came into our life, but we couldn't imagine life any other way. You are by far the best thing that's ever happened to mommy and daddy! We thank God every day for you, and for giving you to us. We love you more than you know!
XOXO,
Mommy

the big surprise.

A year ago today... the day we received the biggest and best surprise of our life! I peed on a stick and got a positive pregnancy test. August 4, 2013 is the day we found out our little nugget was on his way!

I say "big surprise" loosely. My pregnancy was somewhat planned. We had not really been trying, but we also were not preventing and hadn't been for about 5 months. When it was time for my 2013 annual, we decided I would just discontinue my birth control and we would let whatever happened, happen. However, in late July I accepted a job offer with a new company so when I found out I was expecting days before starting at a brand new workplace, I was a little shocked to say the least.

I will never forget the morning I got the positive test. I was about to shower for the day, and was also a couple days late. I just knew there was no way I was pregnant, but decided to take a test just in case. I took the test and set it aside. I then went about my routine, and as I was about to step into the shower I glanced at the test and saw two pink lines clear as day! I was in shock. I screamed for Clete to come to the bathroom because we had company. {Side note: NEVER take a pregnancy test when you have company at your house. It's a horrible idea. NEVER do it!} Once he walked into the bathroom I shoved the test in his face, and immediately began sobbing. He didn't understand why I was so upset as we had decided months before that if it was God's time for us to begin our family we were completely okay with it. It just wasn't ideal to start a brand new job and be 7 weeks pregnant, but that's what I was going to do. After a few hours of being in shock, having to pretend like everything was normal until our company was gone, and then taking another test or two; I then began to get over the shock and be a little excited. I have wanted to be a mommy my whole life, and it's happened. I now look back at that morning and laugh at how I told my husband we were becoming parents. It wasn't how I had imagined I would tell him at all, but it was just how I reacted in the moment.

I sit here and look at our almost 4 month old baby boy in complete awe. Time is passing way too quickly, but life couldn't be better! I never could have imagined how our life would be today a year ago. He has changed our lives for the better, and is the biggest blessing we've ever received! This day last year we had tons of different emotions, and no idea how we'd be able to handle a baby, but fast forward to a year later and we're getting along just fine! We now couldn't imagine life without him in it. Looking back, August 4, 2013 has been one of the greatest days of our life!

3 months old

Today our baby boy Mac turns 3 months old. He's now 13 weeks, and I could have never imagined life could change so much in such a short period of time. He is for sure the center of our world, and we wouldn't have it any other way!

Mommy is now back to work, and Mac is going to Mrs. Cindy's house full time now. He is loving daycare! It makes it easier to drop him off knowing he enjoys it, that the other kids love him, and that his sitter enjoys him too.
Mac is smiling and talking all the time! I think he's going to have his daddy's personality, and be a talker like his Queenie. Daddy can always get him to smile or laugh, and I love watching the two of them together- it warms my heart. He is still loving his swing, bouncer, and jungle mat for activities, and is starting to sometimes like tummy time. We also just discovered he loves his bumbo chair. He loves chewing on his hands and blowing bubbles. He loves his silkie, loves bath time, and the boy loves to eat! He's mostly in 3-6 month clothes, and some 6-9 month. He's also in size 3 diapers. He's eating 5-6 oz bottles and has been sleeping through the night for about 5 or 6 weeks. He is changing every day, and getting quite the personality!

Mac,
We cannot believe that 3 whole months have already gone by. Time is going by way too fast, and you are growing and changing every day. You have brought so much joy into our life, and I can't remember what we ever did without you in it. We love watching you grow and change, and are so thankful God chose us to be your mommy & daddy. We love you more than you know, sweet boy! 
XOXO,
Mommy

Mommy Talk: things I would've liked to know.

Being a first time mom, I'm learning new things almost every day! However, there are things that I now know about pregnancy, labor, childbirth, caring for a baby, etc. that I would have really liked to have been warned about. I think some women hold back information to keep from "scaring" first time mommies, but let's be real it would've been nice to know some of these things. I mean once it's "go time" there's really no turning back.

This is my list of the most shocking and surprising things that happened to me at the end of my pregnancy, labor, post delivery, and the first few weeks at home. When I talked about these things with other mommy friends, they acted like it was completely normal. There was always a part of me that really wanted to say, well that would've been nice to know! So I'm sharing these things, and let's get to it...

A question I often asked when the end of my pregnancy was nearing, and I've been ask by other mommy to be friends is, what does a contraction feel like? The best way I know how to describe it is like severe period cramps. Let me put it this way- you'll know if it's go time! 

Another question women often ask is, will I know if my water breaks? I asked this question too. Statistics say that only like 12% of women's water actually breaks on it's own. My co-workers were scared to death my water was going to break at work, but thankfully that never happened! YES dear, you will know if your water breaks! There will not be a doubt in your mind. It's kind of like a water balloon popping. I don't know how to describe it except, weird!

The hear say about how you don't get to eat while in labor, it's true! No food or drink, not even water. The no water was the shocker for me. They only give you ice chips and popsicles. So if you can stomach it, eat on your way to the hospital because it could like a whole day before you get real food again. 

Sorry this may be a little TMI, but I would've liked to know. Post delivery, you bleed. A LOT. Yes, I knew I was going to bleed for a month or more after baby, but no one told me I would think I might be bleeding to death the first few days postpartum. I also was never warned that my first shower after giving birth would look like something from a horror movie or a murder scene. Apparently this is completely normal. My nurse told me that I should only be concerned if I saw clots bigger than the size of an egg. Excuse me? Yeah, I looked at her like she'd lost it too... once I went to the bathroom I then understood what she was talking about. The extra thick, super long, overnight protection, maxi pads (like these) will be your best friend for a few weeks. It's almost like you and your baby both have to wear a diaper. Lol. But seriously. 

It's very difficult to pee after birth. Now for those of you that are a badass and can do the whole natural labor thing, this might not be true. But for us normal people who get anesthesia, when they take the cath out it's like you're 3 years old again and you can't pee when you're told to. Yes, you drink TONS of water but it's still hard to go. You sit, run sink water, gulp down water from your big cup, sit some more, drink some more... but when you do finally go, it's just like when you're 3 and everyone celebrates. Well really just you and your nurse, because she's glad you she doesn't have to cath you again and you're glad that you bladder is functioning normal.

The things you said you would never wear, granny panties and a nightgown, will be your best friend. The ugly granny panties are the only thing your ginormous maxi pad will fit comfortably in. Some ladies rave about the mesh panties from the hospital, but I personally wasn't a fan. Everyone has their own personal preference. I also wasn't a fan of the hospital maxi pads and was glad I had packed my own. I've also heard wonderful things about the "ice pads" they give you, but since I ended up having to have a c-section I didn't need those.

You will fall in love with your husband all over again. We often hear this, and it is true. The things he will do for you after you give birth to his child are things you never imagined you'd ever need help with until you were at least 80. Like helping you get your panties on because you're so sore that you can't bend over. He will be so much more awesome than you ever imagined. And seeing him so proud with that sweet baby in his arms will melt your heart!

Unfortunately, there's no instruction book that comes with this tiny human. The hospital keeps you a night or two, and then they send you on your way. You're just supposed to know what to do. {And you will. Your motherly instincts will kick in, and you'll be a pro in no time.} You're told when it cries that it's usually time to do one of two things, a diaper change or time to eat. I learned that usually it's both. On a side note- change their diaper first, and then feed them! This way when they fall asleep with a full belly you can put them back down. 

Once you're home, and reality starts to set in there will be good days and bad days, along with good nights and rough nights. Getting down a routine takes a little bit of time, just be patient! {This was extremely difficult for me to do because I need like routine.} There will be days you go without a shower because baby will be so needy. There will also be days where all you can do is cry with baby because you have no idea what he/she wants since you've tried everything you know to do.

BE FLEXIBLE. I cannot say this enough, especially if you're a planner like myself. It's best to not stress and just go with flow. I like to say to have no plan, but I know first hand that's easier said than done. I was dead set that I was going to have a vaginal birth and breastfeed my baby boy. Well, things didn't go as planned and I didn't get to have a vaginal birth or breastfeed. He would never latch, so this mommy was an exclusive pumper, and had to supplement too. But it all worked out, and this momma has a happy, healthy, baby boy.

With that all being said, you'll more than likely do it all over again when it's time for baby #2! Some people say you'll forget about it, but I highly doubt that. Being a mommy is the very best thing you'll ever do! Your home will be filled with more love, joy, tears, laughs, and poop than you ever imagined. It's not easy, but it's totally worth it!

balance.

In just a few more weeks, I return back to work. I have very much enjoyed my time off with our little man, but I also am starting to look forward to being back in the office. For those of you who don't know me well- I am very strong willed and independent, so I don't think this staying at home thing would work out well for me. Yes, I'll probably shed a few tears my first day back {I'm getting a little teary eyed writing this.} but I know that me working is what's best for our family, and I refuse to feel guilty about it. So that leads me to this rambling post... balance.

Although I feel like I'm ready to go back to work, I do have questions and uncertainties floating around in my head. How will I find the right balance once I go back? How will I juggle being a good wife, a super mom, and having a career? Will there by any time left for just me?

Before Mac, Clete and I both worked our jobs and came home to do whatever we wished. If I needed to run errands after work or wanted to go get a pedi, it was no big deal. I got home when I got home. After all, Clete is a man and can take care of himself. Now, things are different. Mac in a sense "rules the roost" because we have a feeding schedule to keep to, an evening bath to give, and a bed time to get him tucked in by. No, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world! But it will require finding balance to wear the many hats I do, and wear them all well. I will have to find the balance between family, home, work, and play.

I know there's no right answer to my questions. Life doesn't come with a rule book or directions to follow, it just happens and takes time to find the answers. The answers are different for us all, and that's okay too! But sometimes it would be nice to refer back to the directions. ;)

On a lighter note, it's Friday! Yay for the weekend we've all been workin' for! Happy Father's Day weekend to all the baby daddy's out there. Be sure to let dad sit back and relax a little. Have a good weekend y'all!

2 months old

Today, Mac is 2 months old! Where does time go? I used to never understand when people said time goes by faster the older you get, but now I totally get it. I can't believe our little man is growing so quickly, and time is passing so fast.

Mac is social smiling, holds his head up, loves playing peek-a-boo, LOVES bath time, likes lights and movement, loves laying under his jungle mat, enjoys watching tv with daddy, loves his swing and monkey bouncer, loves to skype with Queenie & Poppie, loves to eat, and has been sleeping a solid 6 hours at night for a couple of weeks. This little boy has brought us so much joy and laughter over the past two months! I never knew being a mommy could be so much fun.

This past Friday was his 8 week appointment. It was also his first round of shots, but he was a trooper. I was dreading the appointment, but he did so good. The nurse was also super fast, so that made it better too. He only cried for a few seconds right after the sticks, and once I was able to pick him up he was fine. Mac now weighs 14 lbs, 10 oz and is 24 1/2 inches. He's in the 95th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height. Dr. Stecklow said all looked well, and that we've got a healthy boy!

Dear Baby Mac,

Two months ago you came into this big world, and changed our lives forever. We anxiously awaited your arrival, and now we cannot imagine our life without you. You're growing up way too fast, but mommy & daddy love watching you grow and change everyday. We can't wait to see what God has in store for the big life you have ahead of you. We love you, sweet boy- more than you'll ever know!
XOXO,
Mommy

Meeting Mac

The day was here! The day we had been awaiting for 9 months had arrived. Thursday, April 10, 2014 is the day that our lives changed forever...

I was up and ready to go, all before Clete's alarm went off. I tried stay quiet so he could sleep since we had a big day ahead of us. After we got around, and got the car loaded we left for the hospital. We arrived at the hospital shortly after 5:00AM. They got us checked in, showed us to our room, and told me to get changed and that my nurse would be in shortly. I got in my hospital gown, crawled into the bed, and soon after my nurse arrived. There was lots of paperwork and questions, but once that was all done she started my IV to start speeding things along. Around 7:00AM my parents arrived, and there was nurse shift change. ALL of the nurses and staff were wonderful! They made me feel so comfortable, and like we had known them for years. Clete and I couldn't have been happier with the care we received. The labor nurse that checked us in told us goodbye and that she'd see us that evening. She said she hoped to meet our baby boy when she returned, but that sometimes she does come back to help deliver. My day labor nurse was just as great! She made sure I felt comfortable, had ice chips, and would bring popsicles per my request. She also told me that when I started to get uncomfortable to let her know and she'd order my anesthesia.

Shortly before 9AM my doctor came in to check my progression, and also broke my water. My doctor and nurse said things should start to move along since she had broken my water. Around 10:45AM I started having pretty hard contractions so I requested my epidural. Once the anesthesiologist was out of surgery he came in to see me. The epidural was one thing I was really nervous about, but it wasn't bad at all. Dr. Brown was quick and made it as painless as possible. Once the epidural set it, the waiting game began. Dr. Chambers {my doc} would come down every couple of hours to check me, or would call the nurses to get my progress.

At 1:00PM she came in and I was 100% effaced and dilated to a 4. She told me to just hang tight because she knew at any time I was going to progress fast. Our visitors went to lunch, and I napped while we were waiting on our little man. When Dr. Chambers came in around 5:00PM to check, I was still at a 4. She told Clete and I that we had two options... we could do a c-section or we could wait. Normally, a woman would progress at 1cm an hour and I had been stuck at a 4 for 4 hours. She said with how my pregnancy had gone, and since both me and baby's vitals were good she had no problem with waiting. I really did NOT want a c-section. It was my biggest fear going into labor. I told her that I would like to wait and see how things looked again in two hours. She had no problem with that. Clete and I discussed after she left, that if 7:00PM rolled around and nothing had changed we would take her advice on what to do. I in no way felt like she was trying to force a c-section on me, so if she felt like that was best then we'd take that route. After all, I didn't want to get into an emergency situation and them have to rush to take him c-section. 

Shortly before 7:00PM she called and had the labor nurses come check me... I was still stuck at a 4. They told me they could feel his head and they could also feel fluid building up around it. I told the nurse to ask Dr. Chambers what she would suggest we do, and that we felt confident to go with whatever she suggested. When the nurses walked out, I knew I was going to have to have a c-section. One of my biggest fears through my pregnancy was coming reality. As soon as my parents walked back into the room, I completely lost it. I was scared to death. I'd never been hospitalized before, so going under surgery was scary to me. I still get emotional thinking about it, but I looked at my mom with tears in my eyes and said, "have dad come pray with us." It was a special moment for me... Clete, my mom, my aunt, and my dad gathered around my bed and held hands as my dad led us in prayer. After that, I felt confident I was making the best decision and I felt at peace. I was disappointed I wouldn't be able to deliver naturally, but I was okay with it.

Once Dr. Chambers arrived at the hospital she came to our room and talked to us. She told me she knew this wasn't my plan, but that everything would be fine. She also then told us she had gone through 3 c-sections herself. Again, this made me feel better about it. After she left the room, they started prepping me for surgery. Dr. Brown came back in to change out my anesthesia, my nurse got everything else ready and within minutes we were off to the OR. My mom walked with Clete and I down to the double doors. It was very obvious I was nervous and scared, but Clete and Dr. Brown kept insuring me that all would be fine. They showed Clete to a small room to get changed, and they took me on to the OR.

It felt like it was 10 degrees in the OR. They moved me over to the operating table and started prepping for surgery. Dr. Brown stayed up by my head and talked to me to calm my nerves. He also insured me that he would get Clete before they started surgery. The nurses and doctor's were talking, my nurse stated my name and information, and soon after Clete came in. They gave him a chair and he sat right beside my head, holding my hand. Dr. Brown also stayed close by and talked to us telling us what was going on. Right before they pulled Mac out, Dr. Brown told Clete to stand up because he would want to see him come into the world. Clete stood up, and a moment later I heard our sweet baby boy cry for the first time. At 7:28PM our little baby boy, Mac James was born. Clete's words were, "he's beautiful just like his momma!" Dr. Chambers said my gosh he is huge and I remember thinking what does that even mean? She couldn't get over how big he was, and how she had under estimated his size. She held him up for me to see, and then the nurses took him to get him cleaned up, weighed, etc. Clete walked over and took pictures with his phone while they finished sewing me up. Once they had him weighed, measured and a diaper on, I got to hold my sweet baby boy for the first time. It was truly love at first sight. Clete snapped a picture of us with his phone and sent to my mom so everyone waiting would know Mac had arrived and that we were all doing well. 

For me, the rest of the evening was a little bit of a blur. Once they took Mac to the nursery, Clete went with him for a while. His blood sugar got low, so the nurses kept a close eye on him by checking it and made sure it was rising by giving him formula. Mac came into this world weighing in at 9 lbs 6 oz and 22 inches long. It was love at first site for us all!

April 10, 2014 was the day that our lives changed forever. For the better, of course! It's the date I earned the title of "mom" and our baby, Mac joined us in this big world. Our newest addition has turned in a brand new chapter of life. Being Mac's mommy is the best thing ever!

A special thank you to my dear friend Kylie for capturing Mac's birth day. These pictures I will cherish forever. All photo credits go to Kylligraphy Photography Lettering and Design.